Wow! Three Years Pass

I’ve been unsettled, the last couple of weeks. I’m not really sure why this feeling has settled in, perhaps it is a minor mid-life crisis. Perhaps it is due to the political climate or that I mindfully took this summer off from coursework. It could be that I’ve been fighting allergies and have had steroids in my system. But whatever it is, I’ve been thinking about writing again.

My last blog post was 3 years ago. A lot has happened since then. Here is a brief update –

My husband, Chris, lost his long battle with Stage IV Lung Cancer on March 21, 2018. I’ll write more about that in a future post, but the boys and I are settled into a new normal and I think that we are doing well.

I am now working as a Learning Specialist at a school in Denver Public Schools. I’m excited to be starting my third year at my school. Overall, I love my job, my co-workers, and my administration. As with any teaching job, I adore some of my students and some of my students challenge me to be the best teacher/person I can possibly be. Some of these challenges have been emotionally painful and life-changing. I am truly humbled and grateful for the opportunities I have had working with these kids and young adults (grades 6 -12).

I bought a house last summer, adopted two kittens, and have been attempting to garden. I love my house and have had a number of adventures in homeownership. The kittens are the first that I’ve ever had and that has been an experience!

I lost my dad in November of 2018, after watching him slowly deteriorate both physically and mentally. While it has been difficult, at times, ultimately, he was tired. Both my brother and I flew into North Carolina to see him before he passed. He was in Hospice care. We had some good conversations with him with both laughter and tears. He died a couple of days after my brother and I flew to our respective homes. Mom is managing things well. More about all of this later.

In December, 2018, our dog, Kirby, crossed the rainbow bridge. She lived a long and wonderful life (about 18 years).

My youngest son graduated from high school and earned his Associates Degree (in Science) in May.

Of course, this is a brief update and I hope to write more. So much has happened over the last several years. However, I can probably sum it up as being in survival mode; putting one foot in front of the other and making it from day to day. I finally feel as if I can take a deep breath and plan versus react to what is going on around me. Hence, the need to write.

Chris’ Cancer Update – May 2013

It’s been a long time since I posted an update on Chris’ Cancer.  Unfortunately, it isn’t because there wasn’t anything to tell – but it’s been more of a case of me being overwhelmed.

The cancer cells in Chris’ lung are “stable.”  This means that they aren’t growing and they aren’t shrinking.  The tumors that were in his lung are essentially gone but there is still cancer cell activity.  Much of the activity is in the pleura (the lining/sack around the lung).  For now the doctors will watch and see what happens.  But they do expect that, at some point, it will become a “hot spot” of activity.

The area of most concern is Chris’ brain.  There are four stable tumors in his brain.  They are watching those and will treat them with radiation (again) if need be.

The side-effects from the drugs are still quite bothersome for Chris; I know he could do without the gastrointestinal upset and the fatigue.

In June there will be an announcement about a new drug being used to treat Lung Cancer.  This drug is a “Plan B” drug for Chris – he will go on it when the drug he is on stops working and the cancer in his lung starts to grow.  So there are new options for Chris, when we get to that point.

Meanwhile, he is still working full-time.  And, things are continuing as they have been.

James Family Update – January 2013

I’ve been remiss. I haven’t updated anyone for quite some time about Chris. I really wanted to wait until the holidays were over, especially since it wasn’t good news.

August, 2012 – James Family Update

Chris and I saw the oncologist on Wednesday. Basically, things are still stable. The cancer in his lung is unchanged. Two out of the three tumors in his brain are also unchanged. However, the third tumor possibly has increased in size slightly.

The thing with scans is that they are accurate only to a certain point. The new scans had a much higher resolution than the scans done in May, so it is hard to tell if there has been a change. But if there has, it is slight.

This is good news – things are stable. So we continue on as we have. The next set of scans will be at the end of Sept./beginning of October.

For the rest of us…I start back to school on Aug. 7. David starts high school on Aug. 13 and Michael starts 6th grade on the 14th. We are expecting a busy year, as this will be the first year I am working as a full-time teacher (with papers to grade and lessons to plan, etc.). However, it should be exciting.

The boys and I visited my parents in NC in June and Chris and the boys just came back from a visit to Chicago. Michael is playing soccer and David will be keeping busy with Band, Theater, and Honors/AP classes. David will also be volunteering with Kid’s Alive as a jr. counselor and Michael will still be attending.

Thank you to everyone – FB friends, fellow bloggers, the kids’ teachers and school staff members, the boys’ friends’ parents, our friends, co-workers and family for your continued support and prayers.

Chris’ Cancer Update – June 2012

On Wednesday, Chris saw the oncologist.  I am still a bit blown away by what was reported,

Cancer Update – 2/22/12

Really not much to report.  Mike drove Chris to U of CO Hospital this morning.  He had his MRI.  His radiation wasn’t scheduled until 3.  So Mike drove him home.  I met Chris there.  Since he wasn’t being sedated, he didn’t need anyone to drive him back to the hospital.  He left at 2:30 and was home by 5:15.  The tumors in Chris’ brain did not grow.  So that is a good thing.

Now we wait to see how he feels. . .

Short Update – 2/22/12

Today, Chris is having a MRI and then radiation on his brain.  I’m going to meet him at the hospital after I finish teaching my one class for the day (I finish at 9:20).  I expect it to be a long day.  I’ll report in after everything is all done.

Helping a Family that has Cancer

My recent post, Chris’ Cancer Update and My Bad Mood, earned a comment from my friend, Jessica. She said, “Robin, you have every right to have these feelings… and anyone who has taken the time to read an article on How Can I Help A Friend Who Has Cancer would already have read exactly what you have written.”    Her statement made me curious about what those articles said.  I found articles about How to Help a Friend with Cancer and How to Help a Family when a Child has Cancer but nothing about helping the rest of the family when one member has cancer.  It seems to me that with more available treatments that hold the cancer in check, there will be more families dealing with cancer as a long-term illness.  And they will be dealing with the cancer (continuously) for longer periods of time.

When someone receives a cancer diagnosis, many people offer their help.  We had lots of help when Chris was diagnosed.  And we are very thankful.  We have some friends who we know we can call for anything and they will be there.  We have acquaintances who have given our family so much in the way of help we will never be able to repay their kindness (AG specifically).  There are teachers who have listened to the boys.  There are friends who have listened to me.  There is Chris’ best friend (MH) who is there every day.  But as I reflect on my Bad Mood, I realized that there is much that we would never, ever ask for but could desperately use.  As Chris has been fighting his cancer for 26 months now, there is much that has gone by the wayside.  So here is my attempt at suggestions for how you can help the entire family when one member has cancer.

Chris’ Cancer Update and My Bad Mood- December 21, 2011

Some of you got emails regarding Chris’ latest visit with the Oncologist.  Some of you saw postings on FB.  For those of you who aren’t on our email list or friends on FB, here is the latest.  If you are new to reading my blog, you can read the beginning of the story here.

The cancer in Chris’ lung is stable.  It hasn’t grown and it is about the same size as when they found it 26 months ago.  This means that the clinical trial drug is doing what it is supposed to and holding things in check.

However, the cancer has spread to Chris’ brain. 

Chris’ Cancer – Update October, 2011

I should have posted this much sooner, but as there wasn’t much to report, I fell behind.