It’s funny how something that was so important can quickly become irrelevant. Blogging was very important to me and it was there for me through some very difficult times in my life. And, then it wasn’t. The blogging part didn’t disappear, but it no longer was important. It was like learning something new and becoming obsessed with it and then suddenly one day, it no longer mattered. It had lost its appeal.
It wasn’t that I didn’t think about it. I did. I thought that I should sit down and do some writing (it had been my habit to write almost every day) but something always got in the way. I’d put it off and tell myself that I’d write tomorrow. When tomorrow arrived, it wouldn’t be a priority, so it would get put at the bottom of my mental “to-do list.” And we know what happens to the things on the bottom of the “to-do list.”
One of the things getting in the way was that I was not allowed to talk about a number of things that were going on. No one specifically told me that I couldn’t talk about them, but it was implied. The sad thing is that I still cannot talk about many of them. Someday I will be able to and I’m sure that I will easily write a book about all those things. But, I have to wait for the right time.
Being who I am, I find it very difficult to keep things in and not write about them. So, it was easier not to write than to censor myself. Unfortunately, I bought into that and was very quiet for a long time. I bought into the climate of fear and intimidation that was around me and threatening me, if I spoke out about some of the things that were going on. But now I do not keep silent because others are threatening me – they can no longer hurt me. I keep silent to help myself. I keep silent because my attorney has asked me to and if I don’t, I could cause damage to myself and the remedies that I am pursuing. So, I will keep it all in.
Honestly, not writing was taking the easy way out. There are so many other things to write about! I’ve been doing some wonderful and exciting things and so have the boys and I haven’t put any of those in writing. Chris is still battling cancer and I have some opinions and insights that I can share.
Those of you who know me through Facebook, may have heard and seen some of the “news” I can share. But some of you are new friends through groups I have joined. One of those groups recently was discussing what one member could do to help a family in their time of grief. I was able to share some of my thoughts and mentioned that I had blogged about a similar topic. While it was against the rules to post a link to my blog, I did tell people that they could private message me and I would send them the link. I never expected that anyone would, but two people did. One of those people, Susan W., requested that I continue writing. She felt that other people would be able to identify with what I wrote about.
Duh. Wasn’t that one of the reasons I started writing in the first place? I guess I had to be hit with a brick to be able to see that, while I can’t write about some things, there are many, many things I can write about.
So here goes.