Did you know that you can clean the stove (even when it is really, really dirty) in the time it takes the coffee to brew?
There is no house fairy that will come and clean your house when you are sick (like when you have pneumonia). Although there should be.
Pickle jars leak pickle juice all over the refrigerator when they are stored on their side. However, you cannot ask why the pickle jar was on its side because the answer is that the pizza box wouldn’t fit with the pickle jar standing upright.
Pickle juice leaking in the refrigerator causes the refrigerator and freezer to smell like pickle juice.
Pickle juice does not smell good after a few days.
It only takes 5 minutes to clean up the pickle juice.
When a package of Styrofoam plates is left on the stove and the oven is turned on, the plastic and Styrofoam melts.
Styrofoam and plastic packaging is difficult to remove from the burners on the stove.
You shouldn’t ask how the Styrofoam and plastic ended up on the stove.
You can never be caught up on dishes or laundry. It is a never ending cycle. Unless everyone is eating off of paper plates while naked there will always be dishes and laundry.
Kids can have drawers full of clothes that don’t fit. Why they don’t bring the clothes that don’t fit to me so I can get rid of them, I’ll never know.
Finding a weeks worth of meals without using pasta is difficult. Why, because according to Michael there is pasta in almost everything that you can find at the store.
Michael changes his mind about his food preferences whenever I think I have it figured out. Does he do this to drive me crazy?
The refrigerator, freezer and pantry can be full of food that I have purchased and I still can’t find something I want to eat. Why is that?
I wonder why it is that the kids cannot tell that the dog is pacing and needs to go out. Is it because they are not paying attention or is it because they are lazy and don’t want to take the dog out?
Why is it that David and Michael can spend days on end with each other and they find things that they need to talk about when they are supposed to be going to sleep? And why can’t it wait until morning? Is there anything in their lives that is so pressing and so important that it can’t wait?
How come Douglas County Colorado (and the surrounding area) doesn’t have the same teacher shortage as the rest of the country?
Why is it that when I tell the boys to set their alarms because we have to leave at a certain time, they cannot manage to get themselves out of bed without my nagging? But if we don’t have to be anywhere, they are up at the crack of dawn and ready to go?
And why is it, when I tell them the plan for the next day, they seem to be listening, but they question everything the following day?
Why do I have to remind them to have something to eat before we leave the house? Even though I’ve been telling them to grab something to eat or take a snack in case they get hungry for their entire lives?
Why is it that I have to remind them to brush their teeth over and over again?
Why is it that commercials are much more interesting than doing whatever it is they are supposed to be doing? Even when they are excited about getting out of the house to do something fun?
How come I can do chores for hours and the boys will not bother me once, but I sit down to scrapbook or lie down to take a nap and they need something that cannot wait?
Why is it that when I have an appointment in the morning, I wake up 2 hours before I actually need to get up to get ready? And then can’t fall back to sleep?
How come I can drink hot coffee on a hot day and not find it silly?
Why is it that when I wake up with some energy and a plan to do something, there is someone sleeping on the couch and in the middle of what I planned to do?